In preparing this review, I unofficially polled a number of my friends and family members: “Growing up, did anyone ever teach you how to manage your inner self-talk?” The answer was an unimpressive and unanimous “no.” In fact, the very notion of self-talk, as detailed in a remarkable book by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin, was as foreign to my survey group as learning Klingon as a second language.

 My informal survey raised another serious question: How is it that there is no definitive preparation, no measurable skill set, for us to engage in the longest running and most personal dialogue of our lives? Surely we all “speak” to ourselves. But most of us have been clueless about how we speak to ourselves – until now.

 Rabbi Pliskin’s Conversations with Yourself is a user’s guide for maintaining healthy thinking and constructive self-talk. The principles he sets forth are clear, relevant, simple, universal, and effective. In other words, they really work!

 Every conscious person has an internal river of thought. But for most of us on the planet, our inner streams of consciousness are polluted with cycling repetitions of worry, self-doubt, internal criticism, and negative images. As any environmentalist will confirm, if a river’s headwaters are toxic, everything downstream will be contaminated. Conversations with Yourself is a revolution in personal spiritual ecology. It offers welcome relief to all who yearn for a quiet, uncluttered mind, for a mind that works with you, not against you. Mastering self-talk is a major key to realizing this lofty goal.

 While Rabbi Pliskin’s approach is novel, the notion of a positive internal dialogue is not new. It was understood by our great sages. The medieval scholar Rabbi David Kimchi (the Radak) commented on the Biblical term hagah, often translated as contemplate. We find a familiar example in the pasuk from Joshua 1:8: lo yamush sefer haTorah hazeh mi’picha v’hagitah bo yomam va’laylah (this Book of the Torah shall not depart from your mouth; rather you shall contemplate it day and night…).The Hebrew verb hagah, says Rabbi Kimchi, corresponds to the cooing of a dove or the growling of a lion, both of which are constantly repeated actions. Every day many of us utter a phrase from Sefer Tehillim, the Book of Psalms (19:15), to improve our internal, repetitious self-talk, yet we might not even know that’s what we’re asking from Hashem when we say, “Yihyu l’ratzon imrey fi v’higion libi lifaneycha Hashem Tzuri v’Go’ali – may the expressions of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart find favor before You, Hashem, my Rock and my Redeemer.” 

Using the wise and caring guidance set forth in Conversations with Yourself, we can all significantly upgrade our self-talk. For many, the effects can be immediate, positive, and long-lasting. 

 I admit to an initially jaded attitude when I first picked up the unpublished manuscript to review Rabbi Pliskin’s latest work.  I expected, as often happens with self-help authors, a book of recycled themes already extant in his previous books.  But this ever-effervescent writer surprised me with yet another refreshingly original book.  I was hooked the moment I read the Introduction’s lucid unifying premise which infuses the book’s 91 short, energetic chapters: “The quality of your life is the quality of your ongoing self-talk. This one idea is the foundation of how you experience your present moments.”